Broken
by aislynnlily
Summary: Kurt goes to Blaine's house during the summer before his senior year and sees Blaine vulnerable for the first time.  Vague spoilers through 3x08, homophobia and some homophobic language, recounted in conversation.  Angst and Klaine snuggles.


**A/N: The idea for this came to me when everyone was getting excited for Blaine getting mad in "Hold on to Sixteen." We hadn't really seen much depth of emotion from him, unlike every other character on the show. While the boys became physically intimate this season, my headcanon has them becoming emotionally intimate sometime over the summer. They just seem so close and so comfortable in their relationship, that it doesn't seem possible that they haven't been open and vulnerable with each other for a while. Anyway, that was my thought process, and this is what happened. Enjoy! **

Kurt rang the doorbell and looked around the yard while he waited. The flowers were in full bloom, the trees were the deep green of late summer, and everything was baking in the hot August sun. Kurt gently grasped the hem of his shirt (he didn't want to stretch it out) to fan himself - between the heat and humidity, along with his refusal to wear sensible (i.e. unfashionable) summer wear, he was extremely uncomfortable.

The door opened with a brief rush of blissfully cool air to Blaine's mother, holding her purse and her keys while trying to cram her cell phone into one of the pockets inside the purse. "Oh, hi Kurt. I didn't realize you were coming over today."

"Hi Mrs. Anderson," Kurt replied politely. "I actually wasn't. I was supposed to help my dad in his shop today, but he ended up having to make an unexpected trip out of town to pick up a specialty part. I wanted to surprise Blaine."

"Oh. Well…I was just heading out to my book club meeting. I haven't seen Blaine since breakfast but when I yelled goodbye to him he sounded like he was in his bedroom. You can go on up. I have some errands to run after my meeting and we're going to be eating dinner at six. It would probably be a good idea for you to head home by then."

"Okay Mrs. Anderson. Have fun at your meeting." He mentally rolled his eyes at her polite way of kicking him out; by now he was used to it. Kurt still had a hard time believing how willing Blaine's mom was to leave the two boys alone in the house; Burt had a habit of not only making sure that someone was in the house with them at all times, but also insisting that Kurt's bedroom door remained wide open while they were in there together. Kurt suspected that she was in denial about the true nature of the relationship.

Kurt waited as Blaine's mother bade him goodbye and pulled the door shut behind her before he turned towards the stairs. The house was almost silent, the quiet hum of the air conditioner the only noise. Kurt took a moment to enjoy the relief from the oppressive heat outside before he started up the stairs.

As Kurt drew nearer to Blaine's closed bedroom door, feet silent on the thick carpet, he heard something he couldn't readily identify. He stood for a moment listening, when to his dawning horror, he realized that the strange sound was muffled sobbing. Blaine was crying.

Kurt completely disregarded common courtesy to push through the door uninvited, his eyes immediately seeking out Blaine. His boyfriend was curled up on the edge of his bed, pillow clutched in his arms, and crying so hard that he was having trouble catching his breath.

Kurt panicked slightly. "Blaine, what's wrong?" he asked as he started to walk towards the bed.

Blaine flew to a rigid sitting position as if he had been poked with a white hot poker, frantically wiping his face and trying to get himself under control. "Kurt. N…nothing's wrong," he croaked out, voice wrecked by the uninhibited crying. "I'm fine. Why don't you go get yourself something to drink from the kitchen and I'll join you in a few minutes."

Kurt hesitated. Blaine hadn't looked his direction since he had walked into the room and it was obvious he was trying to get rid of him. Part of Kurt wanted to grant Blaine the privacy he so obviously wanted, to allow him to compose himself and erase all signs of his "weakness" before he came downstairs, but a bigger, more insistent part of him refused to walk away from such visible pain and vulnerability. Blaine was so used to hiding his emotions and only showing his cheerful, dapper self to the world, and Kurt was tired of being a part of that world that wasn't allowed to see the real Blaine. As frequently as Kurt cried in front of Blaine, and was subsequently comforted by him, he wanted to return the favor.

"No," Kurt said softly as he closed the door and started walking around the end of the bed. "I'm sorry Blaine, but I'm not going anywhere. Something is wrong. You don't have to tell me what it is but we're not going to pretend that I didn't just walk in and see you crying like your heart was breaking."

By this time Kurt was standing directly in front of Blaine, looking down at the top of his boyfriend's head. Any gel that had been restraining Blaine's hair after his shower this morning had been rubbed out, the dark, glossy curls running riot all over his head. Blaine sniffed and looked up at Kurt, the sight of his boyfriend's face making Kurt's eyes well up. Blaine's eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, tear tracks all over his cheeks. And the expression in his eyes - those wonderfully expressive, hazel eyes - was completely heartbreaking. If a person's eyes were truly the window to their soul, Blaine's soul was utterly and completely broken.

Kurt sat down next to Blaine on the edge of the bed, not entirely sure how to proceed from here. Knowing that he was unwelcome in witnessing this side of Blaine almost made him regret not going down to the kitchen to wait for him.

"Blaine, I'm not sure what to do here," he said while both of them looked at the floor in front of them, avoiding eye contact. "I want to help but - oof!" Kurt let out a soft grunt as Blaine's body hit his and his arms were suddenly full of crying boy. Kurt gently maneuvered them around until he was propped up against pillows and the headboard, Blaine curled up against his side and once again crying without restraint. Kurt didn't even care that Blaine was getting his shirt wet with tears as he leaned his cheek against the soft curls and rubbed Blaine's back soothingly.

Kurt spent the next ten minutes murmuring nonsense and holding on tight, trying to be as comforting as possible. He had a feeling that he was the first person in a long time to see Blaine so vulnerable and he was half honored and half terrified of messing something up.

When Blaine's sobbing finally subsided, Kurt took a deep, shaky breath. He had refused to cry himself, wanting to be there for his boyfriend, and he felt almost as drained as he was sure Blaine was. He tightened his arms as he felt Blaine nuzzle his face into his shoulder.

The boys simply snuggled for a few minutes, enjoying the closeness and the knowledge that the other person was there for them. Kurt's heart broke a little when he felt Blaine stiffen in his arms; even knowing this was going to happen, Kurt dreaded dealing with Blaine's embarrassment and regret about being caught expressing so much emotion.

"Before you say anything," Kurt said quietly but firmly, "I want you to think about how many times I've cried in front of you. I want you to remember that I've sobbed, and been vulnerable, and that every time it's happened, you've been there for me, comforting me and helping me cope. I want you to remember all of that, and I don't want to hear any apologies about what just happened."

Blaine let out a cross between a laugh and a sob. "How do you know me so well?" he asked quietly, sighing. "Fine, I won't apologize. I also won't get upset with you for bursting into my room uninvited and refusing to leave when I asked you to. Because you're right; you've allowed me to see your vulnerability, and it's only fair that I allow you the same thing."

Kurt kept quiet, continuing to hold Blaine and rub gentle circles in his back. He knew that Blaine would share with him in his own time, and he didn't want to rush him.

After a few more minutes of silence, Blaine started talking. "My parents had a dinner party last night. My dad has this colleague at the firm that he's trying to ingratiate himself with and he decided to invite this guy's family. He has a daughter our age, and my dad told me about ten minutes before they got here that I was expected to entertain her and be a perfect gentleman with her."

Kurt snorted at this. "As if you would be anything other than a perfect gentleman with anyone. Do your parents even know you?"

Blaine gave a watery chuckle. "Yeah, well, that's part of the problem; they don't know me at all. Or they do everything in their power to avoid knowing the real me in favor of trying to get me to be the me that they want me to be.

"Anyway, so I knew that there were people coming over for dinner, and I knew that I was expected to be the perfect son, but I didn't know that the guy had a kid that was coming. So when I said something to my dad about him wanting me to make friends with her, he winked at me and said that it would be okay if we ended up being more than just friends."

Kurt closed his eyes, suddenly knowing where this was going. He gently kissed Blaine's forehead and tightened his arms, shifting his legs so that he was almost cocooning the other boy.

"So I responded that we would never be anything more than friends, because I'm gay, and I have a boyfriend, and I'm not interested in being set up by my parents anyway. He got angry and told me, again, that I was going through a phase, and I should be open to the possibility that I don't know what I want. Of course, since he waited so late in the evening to start this conversation, there wasn't time to discuss anything else before the doorbell was ringing and they were there. So I put on my pleasant, dapper mask and introduced myself to Amy, that was her name, and we made pleasant small talk throughout the evening, ate dinner with the parents, and then I said goodbye to her when it was time for them to go."

When Blaine didn't say anything for several minutes, Kurt quietly asked, "Then what happened?"

"Then my dad wanted to know what I thought of her. I was so angry with him at that point that I just wanted to lash out, so I said she was fine for a girl, but I prefer boy parts. He started screaming at me, calling me a fag, telling me I was a disappointment to him and why couldn't he have had a real son instead of the pussy girly boy that he was cursed with."

Kurt's heart just ached for him. "God, Blaine. I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry that your dad can't see what a wonderful, amazing son he has. But that's his loss. Where was your mom through all of this?"

Blaine laughed hollowly. "She did what she always does; she bailed as soon as the angry words started. I don't know if she doesn't know what goes on, or if she doesn't care, but she's certainly never come to my rescue. She's never said anything against him. She's so wrapped up in her own life, and so…submissive…to him that I can't see her ever going against anything he has to say.

"Anyway, after he said he wished he'd had a different son, I told him that if I'd had a choice, I would have preferred a father that wasn't a homophobic prick that cared more about his career and social status than he did about his family. He shut down and told me to get out of his office. So I came up here and cried myself to sleep. Got up this morning, waited until he left before I went downstairs for breakfast, then came back up here and started thinking about last night, and how you were busy today, and just feeling sorry for myself."

"You can always call me, Blaine. Always. I don't care what I have planned for the day, if you ever need me again like you needed me today, I will be here for you."

"You weren't supposed to see me like this," Blaine whispered. "I never wanted you to see me so weak."

At that comment, Kurt scooted himself down in the bed so they were lying on their sides looking into each other's faces. Except that Blaine was looking down at Kurt's chest, still avoiding eye contact.

"Blaine, look at me." When Blaine reluctantly looked into those beautiful blue eyes, Kurt asked, "Do you think I'm weak when I cry?"

"No! No, I don't ever think you're weak. You're one of the strongest people I know," Blaine rushed to reassure him.

"Then why do you think it makes you weak to cry? Why are you so ashamed that you don't want to let me see you like that?"

"I…I don't know. I guess it's probably a combination of things. The way society - and my dad - are about men crying and showing emotion; the fact that my family isn't demonstrative about anything; the fact that early on in our friendship I took on more of a mentor role with you; and the fact that I feel like I have to be there for you, and that means I have to be strong for you. Which translates in my head to not crying or being emotional. I've worn this mask for so long…it's going to take a while before I'm able to truly get rid of it when I'm around you, Kurt.

"I don't know how to ask for help. I don't know how to ask to lean on someone." His voice was almost too low for Kurt to hear when he whispered, "I don't know how to ask someone to hold me."

Kurt pulled Blaine into his body, snuggling him close and trying to communicate without words how much he loved him.

"Blaine, it takes so much strength to ask for help. I want you to always know that you can ask me to listen to you, or to hold you, or to be there for you in any way you need me. I love you so much and I want for you to be able to come to me when you need me…just like I come to you when I need you."

Blaine sniffled and snuggled closer. "Will you hold me, Kurt?" he asked in a very small voice.

Kurt smiled and ran his fingers gently through Blaine's curls. "I'd love to."


End file.
